Bleeding ears, nervousness and a paddling duck

I have always been heavily involved with music. Not classical music, I like to play the kind of guitar based music  that’s only good enough if it makes your ears bleed.

If I didn’t do what I do I would have loved to have been a professional musician but as it is I have had some awesome experiences and met some fabulous people (and played in some dreadful places).

My biggest claim to fame was playing at the Marquee Club in London three times.

The weeks leading up to the first gig at the Marquee were horrific. My wife still recalls them vividly. I was literally sick with nerves, bad tempered, unlovable and generally not nice to be around. We played the gig and it was great and we got invited back for a second gig. This time I wasn’t anywhere near as nervous and really enjoyed the experience. Third time was a breeze.

So why am I telling you this?

Because whenever I feel nervous about delivering a training session I can go back to the weeks before that first Marquee gig and say “Well it’s not as bad as that so I’m OK”.

We have talked about state management before and managing our nerves is all part of that. We may feel a bit wobbly on the inside but we don’t want our learners to notice so we develop strategies for dealing with them. Comparing how I am feeling with my awful stage fright is one of mine. I have others though.

A few years ago I was working with someone who passed on this fab tip for managing the wobbles. It’s a technique professional performers use called “Centring” and I have used this many times on myself but more importantly with learners during advanced presentation skills programmes.

It works like this:

Invite a volunteer to join you in front of the group.

Stand side by side and tell them that, in a moment, you are going to gently push them sideways on their shoulder. Before doing this though, ask them to think about a time when they didn’t feel too good about themselves.

Keep them safe by saying that they won’t be in this place for very long.

Now gently push them to one side and as you push them notice how easy it is to move them.

Now invite the volunteer shake out that feeling and stand with their legs slightly apart

Ask them to remember a time when they felt absolutely unstoppable; they were at the top of their game and felt fantastic. Get them to increase the intensity of this memory.

Next invite them to imagine that there is a steel bar running from the infinity of space down through the top of their head exiting between their slightly parted legs and continuing on into the centre of the world.

Now ask them to think about the centre of their body (it’s usually just below the belly button) focus all their energy on this spot and ramp up the heat and colours coming from this spot.

Ask them to imaging the steel bar running right through the middle on this core.

Now tell them that you are once again going to gently push their shoulder.

It is extraordinary how rigid people become. They are amazed at the difference and so are the watching group members. Finally invite everyone to pair up and have a go and ask them to really focus on the intensity of the feelings they create.

This session is great for helping people to control their nerves and appear outwardly in control, even if they don’t feel it on the inside.

And it works for us too. The next time you are feeling a bit wobbly when you are about to facilitate a session give it a go.  You will appear calm and serene on the surface even if things are a bit flappy underneath.

Much like the paddling duck.

Anchor bolt image by Lance and Erin
Marshall amplifier image by Marco Raaphorst

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